O.K. Happy New Year, by the way. Do you think you’ll be happier in 2008 if you don’t think you’re fat anymore? Well, this is the language of shame…a language I encourage all of us not to speak. Instead, if you wish to say bye-bye to some extra poundage, let’s take a look at what might help you actually reach your goal. Do you think making a resolution to lose weight will do it? I have some other ideas that might be more helpful and not make you feel extra shame if you don’t keep that “resolution.” Shame feelings from thoughts/words like “fat,” “bad,” “failure to keep resolution” are out. No, no’s indeed. Let’s begin to close the gap between where you are and where you want to go in a very compassionate (firm and soft) way. Self attack or self shame are unwelcome guests throughout this entire experience! Instead, I propose that you make a decision to let that tiny spark of inspiration—that desire to be your healthy size—lead the way.
1. Let’s aim for creating tiny new habits. It is known that it takes about 90 days to firmly establish a new habit, and that if you can make it a small enough change, you can sneak past the Amygdala (the flight/fright signal part of the brain) without waking it up. Then it won’t scream something irrational like, “You’re starving us (with this change) and we’re going to die!” What would a tiny new habit be?
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Use a smaller plate. Fill it up halfway with healthy veggies (fresh, preferably).
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Eat one Tablespoon less of everything you usually eat.
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Really focus on your healthy eating. So much of “gaining” your goal needs to be conscious.
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Plan. Make sure you have healthy foods available. Make one plan a day.
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Throw out one unhealthy food every three days. Eventually, you’ll have great things in your cupboards.
The other thing we know in coaching is that when we have the right support and can reach for our goals out of self love, exciting things happen. The most important thing to settle in your mind right now is that you’re going to love your way to success, and that both you and I are going to support you, each tiny step of the way.
More soon.
Tags: amygdala, goals, resolutions, self love, so you think you're fat; shame; compassion, success, support, tiny new habits, tiny steps
