The Exquisitely Wise Hire a Life Coach

Someone Else’s LIfe 

As folks used to say, “You have to get a license to own a dog, but you don’t need one to raise a child.”  There are plenty of puppy schools around (where people are trained to be the Alpha dog), and yet too few parenting schools. Finally, however, help and education is now available through numerous parenting classes (offered through your local community education centers or continuing education classes), Parents as Teachers, Nurses for Newborns, books, online courses, etc.  We finally figured out we needed to learn how to parent well from objective, well-informed others, instead of being destined to repeat the helpfulness and horribleness of how Grandma, Grandpa, Ma and Pa parented!  Finally we’re learning how to raise another life.

 Your Life 

What about our own lives?  Isn’t it strange that we haven’t promoted learning

how to raise ourselves throughout life’s cycles?  We don’t teach our young (high school and college students) to really, really consider what will bring them meaning and joy in every area of their lives, now do we?  We teach them how to study, choose a college, get a job, buy a car, etc., yet we don’t encourage them or one another to take a look at the really big overall picture—how to design their whole, “delicious” life.   That is, until we have (or become) a coach!

As adults, it’s exquisitely wise of us to consider getting assistance in “raising” the bar to greatly increase happiness, joy, meaningfulness, satisfaction, life balance, using all our gifts, making a contribution, leaving gentle yet magnificent footprints on the earth, etc.  Consider:

• We probably didn’t have conversations about positive and powerful change and how to make it permanent, in our families of origin.  (Now we can with our coach!)  Coaching is a conversation about change.
• No one drew us a life balance wheel to see which areas were full and robust and which areas needed our creative attention. 
• Who challenged us, inspired us, and kept us moving forward to take all kinds of action steps so that we could reach goals beyond our wildest dreams? 
• Did anyone tell you it takes 90 days to really change an important habit?  Have you had fabulous support in doing so and making it stick?
• Did anyone really want to know what you value most in life, what you’d love to create, or invite you to imagine creating an absolutely “delicious” life?  (This is the antidote to obesity in America, by the way.)
• Was anyone on your side, encouraging you, challenging you to be your most magnificent Self?
• Did you even know you have a Self that it is the best gift in the world to unwrap, understand, and develop?
• Have you wanted to open a business, form a partnership, do something sterling for others in the world?  Wouldn’t you love having someone walk with you every step of the way so that you actually Do IT?!!!
• Was your spirit treated with great respect?  Were you encouraged to live from you Soul and be in resplendent connection with your Source?
• Are you, right now, living fully and completely as you would dare dream?  If not, it’s time to get going!

Well, dear friends, coaches speak this kind of language.  Good ones listen incredibly well to you, to what you want, to how you want to be coached, and they help you get into (and stay in) movement/action.  They help you hold yourself accountable, and they celebrate YOUR inner wisdom about you.  You find yourself having a dual experience:  an inside job and an outside job!   It’s absolutely magnificent what can happen…absolutely magnificent!!! 

It’s kind of like searching for the best diamonds in a huge vat—figuring out how to cut, polish and mount them; then you get to have fun planning where in the world you’ll go to share them with others…as treasures, as products, as pieces of jewelry, as leverage for peace, or to buy water pumps for a village, etc. 

 Your New Life 

Whatever is your Soul’s joy is what we’re after in coaching…and to help you  manifest it in your world and beyond.  You might be astonished to hear the fantastically true and inspiring stories about people who were coached to live their full magnificence!  It’s awesome and amazing what coaching does!

In practical terms, you might hire:  a parenting coach; a career coach; a spiritual coach; a business coach; a car-buying coach; a personal development coach, an internet business-building coach; a stress management coach; a voice coach; a book-selling coach; a wellness coach; or, a life-design coach.  I don’t know which kind of coach you’ll need and want.  However, I do know that with your coach, your chances of building the kind of life you truly and deeply desire—inside and out—are about 80% higher than if you go it alone.  This is why the truly wise among us are hiring coaches by the number.

 

Fortunately, something is sweeping across the world like a refreshing breeze:  people are becoming exquisitely wise, and hiring life coaches.  People of all sizes, ages, shapes, careers, lifestyles, nationalities, couples and singles, are asking themselves, “Is that all there is?”  And usually they follow with, “I want more, and I’m going to make a change!”   Come and be one of the exquisitely wise:  hire your life coach now!

 Nicki McClusky ©  2008 All Rights Reserved Worldwide. www.LifeCoachingfromtheBridge.com 

How to use a fork/spoon when gaining thinness…

Gotcha thinking, didn’t I!  Gain thinness?  You bet!  We’re going to emphasize what you want—not deprivation and what you don’t want.  Who wants to focus on “what I don’t want?”  Not me.  Hopefully, not you.  I like to write, speak, make jokes, ponder and really consider:  what do I really, really, really want?  And then, I usually need to see if all the parts of my inner “committee” agree (or not).  If some aspect of me disagrees or is in revolt toward the majority plan, then I have some inner work and “watching out” to do.  Especially when it comes to using the old fork and spoon.

Of late, I’ve noticed I have a “gung ho” attitude about becoming a veggie maven, monstering against sugar and all its cousins—you know—the donut king, the chip queen, and of course, the cookie monster.  etc.    I want to go down a size, all over my wonderful bod, and ask my knees to carry less thigh around.  This is truly what I want:  to gain 1 size of thinness.    You too?  Well, maybe you’ll also say, “Me too,” about the following:  another part of me could care less about “less,” and feels entitled to “just eat what I want.”  Well, that’s trouble.  House divided, two different bosses competing for control.  Clearly, I need to find and consistently use some radically supportive measures for my “gung ho,” veggie maven self. 

Remember those tiny or small steps I mentioned taking a few entries back?  Well, I think I know how to use utensils to help support the “gaining thinness” mentality.  Go ahead and fill one of them up, lift it up to your wonderful lips, close them, and put the spoon or folk down.  Leave it there, appreciatively.  (Your fingers were just spared a mess.)  Now, concentrate on  that wonderful bite in your mouth as you chew.  Really concentrate.   Now chew at least 20 times…even more, if you are able.  (I find 10-15 to be a lot, yet I will hit 30 eventually.)     Now don’t pick up that fork or spoon yet!  Wait just a bit.  Wait until you’ve fully enjoyed your bite, and rely on your utensils to lie immobile until you are really, really, really ready to get help with that second or next bite.  Let the sleeping fork and spoon lie.  Think of them as “busy elsewhere.”  They’re taking a nap while your teeth, etc. are tending to the first task of digestion—the chomping phase.   Those taste buds are doing their thing, giving you that satisfaction you wanted in the first place, and saliva is mixing in with the chomping to prepare the cuisinarted food to go down the hatch.  Your tongue is involved prior to this, moving food from side to side for even better or varied chewing; your jaw is likely engaged as well.  You could even think about these micro-steps while your fork and spoon are “at ease.”  Sleeping beauties, if you will.

A less active fork and spoon, resting on your placemat between bites, will help you a lot.  Don’t be loading either one up, ready to shovel more in; let them sleep as you’re busy chewing and enjoying.  Focus on enjoying your meal, one well-chewed bite at a time.  Then, perhaps, the disagreeing aspects of your (and my) inner self might form a truce:  you and I are still “gung ho” and we don’t have to focus on “less.”  We actually are focusing on more:  more time to chew, more time to enjoy, a more gracious mood (sleeping utensils at times, rather than shovelling), and much more gladness that you are in the process of gaining thinness.  Blessings be to us all.

So you still think you’re fat? That’s the language of a symptom—not of a cause.

I’m thinking that any of you reading this are smart, have struggled to learn and find out how to help your Self, and may even know that “thinking you’re fat” is a clearly articulated symptom.  Feeling ashamed of weight, “fat,” extra body poundage, etc. is not the core issue, is it.  So what is the core issue?  There are countless varieties, and yet most of them boil down to one word, one thing:  feelings.  Issues involving weight are most always about either avoiding intense feelings or trying to creating soothing feelings of some sort.  Foods ( and fake foods) create powerful chemicals in our brains, and “change the subject,” so to speak.  So when a big wad of chocolate or a mouthful of potato chips fills one’s mouth, you (or I) are no longer thinking about how sad, in pain, or angry we really might be.   We’re in chocolate or salt “heaven” for the moment.  The next moment we might be feeling annoyed at ourselves, fearful that we just gained 10 pounds, or ashamed that we “are fat.” 

If we’d somehow be able to wait a few seconds or minutes, breathe in, and ask ourselves, “Really—what’s going on in me—what am I feeling?—then we’d have half a chance to step into a loving space with ourselves.  Yup…a loving space.  I did say that.  Isn’t that what reaching for smooth, creamy chocolate is all about or crunching into that delicious handful of chips?  Aren’t we trying to be loving to ourselves, albeit in a slightly “off the mark” way?  I say, “off the mark” because we’re aiming at the wrong organ.  It’s our hearts that need comfort rather than our mouths.   But we’re funny creatures, arent we.  Our hearts hurt, and instead of talking about it, or being with ourselves in a very kind and nurturing way, many of us head for the kitchen or secret snack drawer in the bedroom .  Food becomes the substitue soother or good mother we may not have had, or the accepting dad that wasn’t.   Food can become a good/bad friend who promises to cheer us up,  yet one who eventually turns on us, becoming flesh we don’t want and don’t need.  Alas, it always there in ways many people weren’t.

We may have experienced very, very difficult things in life, (various forms of severe abuse), which produce enormous shame, its accompanying cousin/conduit, rage, great fear and distrust of people, plus an ongoing sense of grief.  One’s childhood can be so intruded upon by ill others that it is virtually lost.  Depression results, or a child can run around with a feeling of not being right in the world.   Children (and adults) can only stand so much of that, and will try to soothe or ramp down those kinds of powerful feelings; stuffing them down with food is common among teens who live in very difficult homes.   Sometimes the dinner table is an active war-zone, where verbal attacks on family members are lobbed between food bites.  This kind of energy is noxious and highly disturbing to healthy digestion, of course—becoming fertile ground for eating disorders—particularly over-eating.  No wonder!

Now, if you haven’t thought about these kind of underlying issues/feelings as being powerful  propellers toward food, I’m sure you do now.   Remember the last time you felt anxious and ran towards the fridge?  Remember when you were worried and couldn’t sleep, and got up to eat?  What was going on inside of you?  It’s such an important question to ask of ourselves—in an interested, loving way:  what am i feeling—what’s going on in me?

Have you seen the new TV program, “How to look good naked?”  I haven’t, but I’ve seen the ads.  I LOVE the concept!  The point of the show, as far as I can tell from the ads, is this:  learn to love yourself just as you are, now…in your birthday suit!  It looks to me that these women go from feeling shy and ashamed of their bodies, to feeling happy to love themselves.  I’m for that, no matter what size we are.  The trick is this:  if you (and I) really, really, really will look deep down inside and stare at the issue at hand (buried under any food or any fat), we’ll find ourselves looking at someone who wants us to love them.  It’s us.  It’s our truest Self wanting genuine love and acceptance from our wise, loving Self.  What we don’t want is a mean old Judge, a Critic, a punitive Mom or Dad, or any other kind of monster-meany.  We want love.  That’s it…we are hungry for loving kindness and self-acceptance. 

So, are you willing to start loving yourself?  Are you willing to stop calling yourself fat?  Are you willing to learn the language of self-sticking-up, and self-support?  Of course you are; it feels so good.  I coach myself to do this all the time, and writing to you helps as well.  I couldn’t know about this so well, now could I, if I hadn’t struggled myself.  It’s such a wonderful challenge:  loving ourselves each day, each hour. 

More soon.     

So You think You’re Fat? Made a Resolution?

O.K.  Happy New Year, by the way.  Do you think you’ll be happier in 2008 if you don’t think you’re fat anymore?  Well, this is the language of shame…a language I encourage all of  us not to speak.  Instead, if you wish to say bye-bye to some extra poundage, let’s take a look at what might help you actually reach your goal.  Do you think making a resolution to lose weight will do it?  I have some other ideas that might be more helpful and not make you feel extra shame if you don’t keep that “resolution.”  Shame feelings from thoughts/words like “fat,” “bad,” “failure to keep resolution”  are out.  No, no’s indeed.  Let’s begin to close the gap between where you are and where you want to go in a very compassionate (firm and soft) way.  Self attack or self shame are unwelcome guests throughout this entire experience!  Instead, I propose that you make a decision to let that tiny spark of inspiration—that desire to be your healthy size—lead the way.

1.  Let’s aim for creating tiny new habits.  It is known that it takes about 90 days to firmly establish a new habit, and that if you can make it a small enough change, you can sneak past the Amygdala (the flight/fright signal part of the brain) without waking it up.  Then it won’t scream something irrational like, “You’re starving us (with this change) and we’re going to die!”  What would a tiny new habit be? 

1. Use a smaller plate.  Fill it up halfway with healthy veggies (fresh, preferably).
2. Eat one Tablespoon less of everything you usually eat.
3. Really focus on your healthy eating.  So much of “gaining” your goal needs to be conscious.  
4. Plan.  Make sure you have healthy foods available.  Make one plan a day.
5. Throw out one unhealthy food every three days.  Eventually, you’ll have great things in your cupboards. 

The other thing we know in coaching is that when we have the right support and can reach for our goals out of self love, exciting things happen.  The most important thing to settle in your mind right now is that you’re going to love your way to success, and that both you and I are going to support you, each tiny step of the way. 

More soon.