Dear Readers,
As you read in July, I’ve been away for some time, healing from a serious fall I took while protecting my grandchild that resulted in my breaking both arms (the radial bones). Now, you can imagine what life is like with no arms, can you not? Certainly you can: just put both of your thumbs in your waistband and keep them there for 3-4 weeks. Now do life. Then keep your arms in slings for the next two months as you heal, and you’ll have a keen idea as to how creative one needs to be to complete routine, wonderful tasks—like tooth-brushing.
In the midst of this challenge, I, of course, experienced large gaps in my capacity to manage the “physical” aspects of life (opening doors, getting water, taking off glasses, getting out of bed with no arms, etc.), and yet experienced a profound gap closing: I had a complete sense of inner strength and resolve to heal well and to manage the experience wonderfully. And so I did, with the help of many fabulous others.
As one of my favorite coaches, Alan Seale, wrote in his most recent newsletter,…(loose paraphrase) that “during periods of transformation, we experience large gaps”. This makes sense to me, for we need space to wiggle around in, and stretch our arms and legs, psyches and spirits while we are changing. There needs to be room for the new as we transform the old, experimenting with and discovering what suits us well and what will benefit the world.
New Strength
A new strength I developed was to immediately believe what my body was telling me, and respond to it wisely. For example, getting in and out of bed without the help of my arms, began to strain my lower back. So, after four nights of this, I ordered a hospital bed that had an automatic raiser/lower bar with a remote control. It was a godsend. I needed my back and legs to be strong and remain non-injured since other important body parts were compromised. Also, I ordered a chair-lift so I could get downstairs; my right ankle had been serverely sprained during the fall, so I was not safe to navigate stairs to our finished basement and my workroom (computer, etc.) There are many more examples of quickly responding (closing gaps) to my needs, yet I think you probably got the point already.
Embracing Big Gaps
In the E.R., I asked the Almighty, “What does this mean?” I got some pretty clear messages, yet felt the gap between wanting to know and finding out, widening. “I’ll find out, eventually” I resolutely knew. As certain spiritual gifts became evident to me—surrender, receiving, experiencing care like never before in my life, feeling my deep inner strength, asking for help from friends and even strangers, etc.—I knew that even more profound information would come, and it did. The “gap” widened to make room for all the learning and experiencing, and then narrowed gradually as I came to appreciate what the whole accident was underscoring: profound and wonderful change moving in my soul and in my exterior life. The whole thing was about love, strength, and acceptance.
What became absolutely clear to me is this: when we become devoted to learning about and constructively using our strengths, they become part of us each day as we create joy and meaning. Then, no matter what happens or what we co-create with the universe (God, Spirit, or your term for Higher Power), we are in an excellent position to have them “come brightly alive”—fairly automatically. Our attitude is shaped by our strengths, and we impact everyone else around us—positively.
Small Gaps
I have about 1/4 more bone to re-grow in each arm; this is a small gap, and I am gladly, patiently closing it—being instructed by my body about what I can and cannot yet lift, push or pull. Each day I feel so grateful for the things I’m now able to do, and look forward to the time I can actually get back down on the floor, relying on my arms to get me up and down. Or to take a bath; arms are so involved in lifting us out of the tub, of course. In the meantime, I’ve discovered why people enjoy showers so much. 
A need, a want, and the fulfillment of it: small gaps closed. It’s important to take pleasure in these kinds of moments…living more fully in the present/gift of now.
Keeping an eye on Joy
No matter whether or not we are working on aspects of our Self or a project, or healing or moving to a new home—all experiences where we are moving from her to there in some way— it is vital to develop the capacity to keep an eye on the potential for Joy. If you have not developed this strength, I heartily encourage you to do so. For example, even though it scared me at times to imagine flying and being in airports with healing broken/arms, I followed through with our plans to go to Canada. It had great potential for Joy, and I didn’t want to miss out. I wanted to get take some spectacular pictures of Banff and Lake Louise. And so I did. (If I can get an attachment to work here, I’ll attach a picture of Peyto Lake in the exquisite Canadian Rockies.) I kept my eye on the potential for joy, and relied on my determination to use my strengths to get me through the fear of someone bumping into me. It worked! In fact, I think my husband and I had the absolute best time ever, in the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.
Here, you can see for yourself!
You and Your Strengths
Do you know what they are…especially your top 5? It will be a wonderful thing for you to either jot down the strengths you already know you have, or explore some kind of “strength finder” inventory that appeals to you. My favorite one is the VIA Signature Strengths Inventory on Martin Seligman’s website…or the Univ. of Penn. site. It is free to take, and spits back your top strengths to you as soon as you finish taking the 200 question inventory. Be sure to only take it when you’re rested, as it takes a while. I highly recommend that you become very aware of your strengths so that you can intentionally use them on a daily basis! It makes for joy-filled living, which I heartily endorse.
I welcome your feedback on all entries I make on this Blog. I hope that my writing will bring something alive in you, and help you move to either close a gap you’re working on, or to tolerate the expansion of one while you are growing.
Blessings,
Nicki
How well do you really take care of your Self? I mean, really, really take care of your Self? I’m not just referring to bathing and flossing. 
