Gratitude

I woke up this morning, feeling gently grateful for the continuing shifts I’m creating and experiencing in both my inner and outer worlds. They are truly one in the same, now. There is “evidence” everywhere. Life feels truly magnificent in the quietest of ways.

In a phrase, I am living and moving from my “essence” each hour. That means my true Self is running the entire ‘show’ of my life (most of the time). In the early morning, I write from a “floaty” place…one in which I just close my eyes and let words, feelings, thoughts, textures flow out of my fingertips and onto the keyboard. (It gets pretty funny if one of my hands gets “off”, so I peek at the screen once in awhile during this ‘flow.’) What occurs to me now is that both ‘evidence’ and ‘magnificence’ share the “ence” letters. I’m going to think of ‘ence’ as essence from now on. Lots of ‘ence’ shows up when I am in that beautiful state of flow. I am grateful for this.

I joined a lovely group of coaches—a “Magnificence” group—in which we create “success with ease and joy.” This group is led by my truly wonderful Mentor Coach, Karen Cappello. She is a big proponent of living from one’s ‘essence energy.’ Although not a therapist, she knows how vital finding and living from one’s true self is—living one’s essence. (Self languague is traditionally used by Self Psychologists, and Essence language flows from the mouths of spiritual coaches like Karen.) So as I motate through my life, I am making choices, particularly within the rhythm of expanding my coaching world offerings, that have ease and joy in them. No hurry-up, do this, do that, in marketing, writing, serving or creating. My inner essence cannot ‘glow’ when hurry is present, nor does she know anything about that. My essence represents/is my soul.

Hurrying means we are usually not in essence/soul-flow. At least for me it does. My ‘gaps’ might get banged-shut rather than closing beautifully with ease. For moving from an idea to a manifestation (gap closing) requires soul-time…not the “hurry-ups.” Wonderful surprises show up when I’m in soul time, like this realization I voiced yesterday:
COACHING IS HOLY WORK. COACHES ARE THE NON-RELIGIOUS EMMISSARIES OF SPIRIT. WE ARE HERE ON THIS EARTH TO ENCOURAGE AND FACILITATE OTHERS’ LIVING FROM THEIR SOULS. COACHING IS VERY HOLY WORK, that often produces results that are BEYOND MAGNIFICENT, and truly delicious! As a life-spirit-voice coach, I am here to assist the journey for both coaches and clients. I am grateful for the simple phrase, “Coaching is Holy work.” I am also grateful that I get to help coaches earn their livings through this holy work.
And I am particularly grateful that one of things I offer, VOICE COACHING, assists coaches and other conscious business people to succeed! Becoming an authentic and compelling speaker is a portal to living from Soul. Having all that I know come together in my coaching offerings, makes me feel grateful.

I have written a number of articles/blog entries in the voice coaching realm that raise consciousness about one’s voice. Be sure to visit: http://findyourvoice.typepead.com to read them. Those writings may inspire you to “close the gap” in some way, now. Also, be sure to visit my websites,
www.findyourvoicecoach.com, www.findyourvoice.biz, and www.LifeCoachingfromtheBridge.com , AND SUBSCRIBE (opt-in) so you’ll be included in my “offerings”.

I am grateful for our precious friends we went out dinner with last night. I am grateful for E’s recent and enormously difficult pilgrimage, and F’s love of her work. I am grateful that I have a good bed for sleep, a warm home for living and working, and this computer and Blog where I can share parts of my Self with you.

I am grateful that you have visited my site; please leave your comments, especially about gratitudes that fill your heart.
Have a blessed day.

The Exquisitely Wise Hire a Life Coach

Someone Else’s LIfe 

As folks used to say, “You have to get a license to own a dog, but you don’t need one to raise a child.”  There are plenty of puppy schools around (where people are trained to be the Alpha dog), and yet too few parenting schools. Finally, however, help and education is now available through numerous parenting classes (offered through your local community education centers or continuing education classes), Parents as Teachers, Nurses for Newborns, books, online courses, etc.  We finally figured out we needed to learn how to parent well from objective, well-informed others, instead of being destined to repeat the helpfulness and horribleness of how Grandma, Grandpa, Ma and Pa parented!  Finally we’re learning how to raise another life.

 Your Life 

What about our own lives?  Isn’t it strange that we haven’t promoted learning

how to raise ourselves throughout life’s cycles?  We don’t teach our young (high school and college students) to really, really consider what will bring them meaning and joy in every area of their lives, now do we?  We teach them how to study, choose a college, get a job, buy a car, etc., yet we don’t encourage them or one another to take a look at the really big overall picture—how to design their whole, “delicious” life.   That is, until we have (or become) a coach!

As adults, it’s exquisitely wise of us to consider getting assistance in “raising” the bar to greatly increase happiness, joy, meaningfulness, satisfaction, life balance, using all our gifts, making a contribution, leaving gentle yet magnificent footprints on the earth, etc.  Consider:

• We probably didn’t have conversations about positive and powerful change and how to make it permanent, in our families of origin.  (Now we can with our coach!)  Coaching is a conversation about change.
• No one drew us a life balance wheel to see which areas were full and robust and which areas needed our creative attention. 
• Who challenged us, inspired us, and kept us moving forward to take all kinds of action steps so that we could reach goals beyond our wildest dreams? 
• Did anyone tell you it takes 90 days to really change an important habit?  Have you had fabulous support in doing so and making it stick?
• Did anyone really want to know what you value most in life, what you’d love to create, or invite you to imagine creating an absolutely “delicious” life?  (This is the antidote to obesity in America, by the way.)
• Was anyone on your side, encouraging you, challenging you to be your most magnificent Self?
• Did you even know you have a Self that it is the best gift in the world to unwrap, understand, and develop?
• Have you wanted to open a business, form a partnership, do something sterling for others in the world?  Wouldn’t you love having someone walk with you every step of the way so that you actually Do IT?!!!
• Was your spirit treated with great respect?  Were you encouraged to live from you Soul and be in resplendent connection with your Source?
• Are you, right now, living fully and completely as you would dare dream?  If not, it’s time to get going!

Well, dear friends, coaches speak this kind of language.  Good ones listen incredibly well to you, to what you want, to how you want to be coached, and they help you get into (and stay in) movement/action.  They help you hold yourself accountable, and they celebrate YOUR inner wisdom about you.  You find yourself having a dual experience:  an inside job and an outside job!   It’s absolutely magnificent what can happen…absolutely magnificent!!! 

It’s kind of like searching for the best diamonds in a huge vat—figuring out how to cut, polish and mount them; then you get to have fun planning where in the world you’ll go to share them with others…as treasures, as products, as pieces of jewelry, as leverage for peace, or to buy water pumps for a village, etc. 

 Your New Life 

Whatever is your Soul’s joy is what we’re after in coaching…and to help you  manifest it in your world and beyond.  You might be astonished to hear the fantastically true and inspiring stories about people who were coached to live their full magnificence!  It’s awesome and amazing what coaching does!

In practical terms, you might hire:  a parenting coach; a career coach; a spiritual coach; a business coach; a car-buying coach; a personal development coach, an internet business-building coach; a stress management coach; a voice coach; a book-selling coach; a wellness coach; or, a life-design coach.  I don’t know which kind of coach you’ll need and want.  However, I do know that with your coach, your chances of building the kind of life you truly and deeply desire—inside and out—are about 80% higher than if you go it alone.  This is why the truly wise among us are hiring coaches by the number.

 

Fortunately, something is sweeping across the world like a refreshing breeze:  people are becoming exquisitely wise, and hiring life coaches.  People of all sizes, ages, shapes, careers, lifestyles, nationalities, couples and singles, are asking themselves, “Is that all there is?”  And usually they follow with, “I want more, and I’m going to make a change!”   Come and be one of the exquisitely wise:  hire your life coach now!

 Nicki McClusky ©  2008 All Rights Reserved Worldwide. www.LifeCoachingfromtheBridge.com 

How to use a fork/spoon when gaining thinness…

Gotcha thinking, didn’t I!  Gain thinness?  You bet!  We’re going to emphasize what you want—not deprivation and what you don’t want.  Who wants to focus on “what I don’t want?”  Not me.  Hopefully, not you.  I like to write, speak, make jokes, ponder and really consider:  what do I really, really, really want?  And then, I usually need to see if all the parts of my inner “committee” agree (or not).  If some aspect of me disagrees or is in revolt toward the majority plan, then I have some inner work and “watching out” to do.  Especially when it comes to using the old fork and spoon.

Of late, I’ve noticed I have a “gung ho” attitude about becoming a veggie maven, monstering against sugar and all its cousins—you know—the donut king, the chip queen, and of course, the cookie monster.  etc.    I want to go down a size, all over my wonderful bod, and ask my knees to carry less thigh around.  This is truly what I want:  to gain 1 size of thinness.    You too?  Well, maybe you’ll also say, “Me too,” about the following:  another part of me could care less about “less,” and feels entitled to “just eat what I want.”  Well, that’s trouble.  House divided, two different bosses competing for control.  Clearly, I need to find and consistently use some radically supportive measures for my “gung ho,” veggie maven self. 

Remember those tiny or small steps I mentioned taking a few entries back?  Well, I think I know how to use utensils to help support the “gaining thinness” mentality.  Go ahead and fill one of them up, lift it up to your wonderful lips, close them, and put the spoon or folk down.  Leave it there, appreciatively.  (Your fingers were just spared a mess.)  Now, concentrate on  that wonderful bite in your mouth as you chew.  Really concentrate.   Now chew at least 20 times…even more, if you are able.  (I find 10-15 to be a lot, yet I will hit 30 eventually.)     Now don’t pick up that fork or spoon yet!  Wait just a bit.  Wait until you’ve fully enjoyed your bite, and rely on your utensils to lie immobile until you are really, really, really ready to get help with that second or next bite.  Let the sleeping fork and spoon lie.  Think of them as “busy elsewhere.”  They’re taking a nap while your teeth, etc. are tending to the first task of digestion—the chomping phase.   Those taste buds are doing their thing, giving you that satisfaction you wanted in the first place, and saliva is mixing in with the chomping to prepare the cuisinarted food to go down the hatch.  Your tongue is involved prior to this, moving food from side to side for even better or varied chewing; your jaw is likely engaged as well.  You could even think about these micro-steps while your fork and spoon are “at ease.”  Sleeping beauties, if you will.

A less active fork and spoon, resting on your placemat between bites, will help you a lot.  Don’t be loading either one up, ready to shovel more in; let them sleep as you’re busy chewing and enjoying.  Focus on enjoying your meal, one well-chewed bite at a time.  Then, perhaps, the disagreeing aspects of your (and my) inner self might form a truce:  you and I are still “gung ho” and we don’t have to focus on “less.”  We actually are focusing on more:  more time to chew, more time to enjoy, a more gracious mood (sleeping utensils at times, rather than shovelling), and much more gladness that you are in the process of gaining thinness.  Blessings be to us all.

So you still think you’re fat? That’s the language of a symptom—not of a cause.

I’m thinking that any of you reading this are smart, have struggled to learn and find out how to help your Self, and may even know that “thinking you’re fat” is a clearly articulated symptom.  Feeling ashamed of weight, “fat,” extra body poundage, etc. is not the core issue, is it.  So what is the core issue?  There are countless varieties, and yet most of them boil down to one word, one thing:  feelings.  Issues involving weight are most always about either avoiding intense feelings or trying to creating soothing feelings of some sort.  Foods ( and fake foods) create powerful chemicals in our brains, and “change the subject,” so to speak.  So when a big wad of chocolate or a mouthful of potato chips fills one’s mouth, you (or I) are no longer thinking about how sad, in pain, or angry we really might be.   We’re in chocolate or salt “heaven” for the moment.  The next moment we might be feeling annoyed at ourselves, fearful that we just gained 10 pounds, or ashamed that we “are fat.” 

If we’d somehow be able to wait a few seconds or minutes, breathe in, and ask ourselves, “Really—what’s going on in me—what am I feeling?—then we’d have half a chance to step into a loving space with ourselves.  Yup…a loving space.  I did say that.  Isn’t that what reaching for smooth, creamy chocolate is all about or crunching into that delicious handful of chips?  Aren’t we trying to be loving to ourselves, albeit in a slightly “off the mark” way?  I say, “off the mark” because we’re aiming at the wrong organ.  It’s our hearts that need comfort rather than our mouths.   But we’re funny creatures, arent we.  Our hearts hurt, and instead of talking about it, or being with ourselves in a very kind and nurturing way, many of us head for the kitchen or secret snack drawer in the bedroom .  Food becomes the substitue soother or good mother we may not have had, or the accepting dad that wasn’t.   Food can become a good/bad friend who promises to cheer us up,  yet one who eventually turns on us, becoming flesh we don’t want and don’t need.  Alas, it always there in ways many people weren’t.

We may have experienced very, very difficult things in life, (various forms of severe abuse), which produce enormous shame, its accompanying cousin/conduit, rage, great fear and distrust of people, plus an ongoing sense of grief.  One’s childhood can be so intruded upon by ill others that it is virtually lost.  Depression results, or a child can run around with a feeling of not being right in the world.   Children (and adults) can only stand so much of that, and will try to soothe or ramp down those kinds of powerful feelings; stuffing them down with food is common among teens who live in very difficult homes.   Sometimes the dinner table is an active war-zone, where verbal attacks on family members are lobbed between food bites.  This kind of energy is noxious and highly disturbing to healthy digestion, of course—becoming fertile ground for eating disorders—particularly over-eating.  No wonder!

Now, if you haven’t thought about these kind of underlying issues/feelings as being powerful  propellers toward food, I’m sure you do now.   Remember the last time you felt anxious and ran towards the fridge?  Remember when you were worried and couldn’t sleep, and got up to eat?  What was going on inside of you?  It’s such an important question to ask of ourselves—in an interested, loving way:  what am i feeling—what’s going on in me?

Have you seen the new TV program, “How to look good naked?”  I haven’t, but I’ve seen the ads.  I LOVE the concept!  The point of the show, as far as I can tell from the ads, is this:  learn to love yourself just as you are, now…in your birthday suit!  It looks to me that these women go from feeling shy and ashamed of their bodies, to feeling happy to love themselves.  I’m for that, no matter what size we are.  The trick is this:  if you (and I) really, really, really will look deep down inside and stare at the issue at hand (buried under any food or any fat), we’ll find ourselves looking at someone who wants us to love them.  It’s us.  It’s our truest Self wanting genuine love and acceptance from our wise, loving Self.  What we don’t want is a mean old Judge, a Critic, a punitive Mom or Dad, or any other kind of monster-meany.  We want love.  That’s it…we are hungry for loving kindness and self-acceptance. 

So, are you willing to start loving yourself?  Are you willing to stop calling yourself fat?  Are you willing to learn the language of self-sticking-up, and self-support?  Of course you are; it feels so good.  I coach myself to do this all the time, and writing to you helps as well.  I couldn’t know about this so well, now could I, if I hadn’t struggled myself.  It’s such a wonderful challenge:  loving ourselves each day, each hour. 

More soon.     

So You think You’re Fat? Made a Resolution?

O.K.  Happy New Year, by the way.  Do you think you’ll be happier in 2008 if you don’t think you’re fat anymore?  Well, this is the language of shame…a language I encourage all of  us not to speak.  Instead, if you wish to say bye-bye to some extra poundage, let’s take a look at what might help you actually reach your goal.  Do you think making a resolution to lose weight will do it?  I have some other ideas that might be more helpful and not make you feel extra shame if you don’t keep that “resolution.”  Shame feelings from thoughts/words like “fat,” “bad,” “failure to keep resolution”  are out.  No, no’s indeed.  Let’s begin to close the gap between where you are and where you want to go in a very compassionate (firm and soft) way.  Self attack or self shame are unwelcome guests throughout this entire experience!  Instead, I propose that you make a decision to let that tiny spark of inspiration—that desire to be your healthy size—lead the way.

1.  Let’s aim for creating tiny new habits.  It is known that it takes about 90 days to firmly establish a new habit, and that if you can make it a small enough change, you can sneak past the Amygdala (the flight/fright signal part of the brain) without waking it up.  Then it won’t scream something irrational like, “You’re starving us (with this change) and we’re going to die!”  What would a tiny new habit be? 

1. Use a smaller plate.  Fill it up halfway with healthy veggies (fresh, preferably).
2. Eat one Tablespoon less of everything you usually eat.
3. Really focus on your healthy eating.  So much of “gaining” your goal needs to be conscious.  
4. Plan.  Make sure you have healthy foods available.  Make one plan a day.
5. Throw out one unhealthy food every three days.  Eventually, you’ll have great things in your cupboards. 

The other thing we know in coaching is that when we have the right support and can reach for our goals out of self love, exciting things happen.  The most important thing to settle in your mind right now is that you’re going to love your way to success, and that both you and I are going to support you, each tiny step of the way. 

More soon. 

Being A Safe Driver Amidst Dangerous Ones

I found a wonderful, new physical therapist miles and miles from my office, so I now have a “mini-trip” to make once or twice a week.  Part of the journey traverses one of St. Louis’ most densely travelled highway sections, with (seemingly) bazillions of drivers careening off and on the exit ramps at high speeds.   And, over half of them are yakking on cell phones.  Not a good combination in my safety book!  However, since I have NO control over the way others drive or sort-of drive while they are doing many other things, my focus is on closing the gap between potential danger and manifesting safety on the roads.  You might wish to join me in doing this, too.  How? 

(1)  We can get into a mental framework of “mindfulness” before cranking up the engine.   On my Thursday trip south, I concentrated on being fully present, driving at a safe and comfortable speed for me, and focusing on being an excellent driver—offensively and defensively.  Interestingly, keeping my focus on driving very well kept me in a “zone” of comfort and peace during stretches of road that usually rack my nerves.  This time there was no need to drive defensively.  Thankfully.  I set my intention to do the same on the way home, and that, too, was pleasant.  On the way back, I listened to Alan Seale’s CD, ”Dance of the Soul,” and felt blessed by what I heard.  When traffic got thick, I turned it off and paid attention even more.

(2)  Research continually shows that cell phone drivers have 400% more chance of having a serious accident than car drivers.  That’s pretty high.  So we have probably half of the drivers on the road being 400% more dangerous, deluding themselves that they are “just fine,” with, hopefully, the other half paying close attention.   Until traffic laws disallow this practice of mindless driving, my intention is to be 400% more careful when I spot a “talker” who is not focused in present time on their driving. 

To close the gap between anxious (or dangerous) driving and peaceful (and safe) driving, it will behoove us to begin any journey with a commitment to mindfulness:  “I will blink my eyes and stay focused in/on the moment.”  In doing so, I will likely see more things, notice and observe that which may have otherwise passed me by.  

Going somewhere occupies several moments/hours of our lives.  Why miss out?  I’d rather be in the moment as fully as possible, practicing mindfulness and enlarging my awareness of my life this moment/hour.   Wouldn’t you rather truly be in your life?  The only way to really, really do that is to be here, now, in present time.

The other thing is that driving 400% more safely will enhance your/my driving, empower us as contributing members of the world, and possibly balance out dangerous driving.  Also, when our focus is on driving excellently, little attention is available to be annoyed at other drivers if they are thoughtless or dangerous.  In my book, this is one way to close a gap created by those who think multi-tasking is a perrogative of licensed drivers.  That, in a word, is delusional.  We are truly not entitled to put others at risk.  And spiritually, we are not really entitled to put our own precious selves at risk either. 

Become mindful, enjoy the drive, and close the gap between danger and safety on the road.    Pull over before calling someone so you can be fully present with them when you talk.  Calls can wait…safety can’t.  This is my intention, every time I get near a vehicle…to be a very mindful, safe driver.  Please join me in setting this conscious, mindful intention.  You’ll come to love it!

Taking “Exquisite Care” of Your Self

How well do you really take care of your Self?  I mean, really, really take care of your Self?  I’m not just referring to bathing and flossing.   

I’m inviting you into a conversation that is essentially spiritual—one in which we look inward to see what our souls truly need, and how we respond in kind. 

Exquisite care-giving emanates from being in touch with the depths of you/me and responding in a super-sized way from the heart; the world notices this through the evidence of our actions and choices. 

During the next month I will be posting ideas about how we can each take “exquisite care” of our Selves.  I’ll be inviting several magnificent coaches to share their ideas and exquisite self-care practices with us.

In the meantime, please ponder this question:  “Why am I here?”  We might need to widen space between asking and discovering.  Closing the gap will come later. 

More soon…

Blessings,

    Nicki

Devotion to Strength-Based Living…even during a Crisis!

Dear Readers,

As you read in July, I’ve been away for some time, healing from a serious fall I took while protecting my grandchild that resulted in my breaking both arms (the radial bones).  Now, you can imagine what life is like with no arms, can you not?  Certainly you can:  just put both of your thumbs in your waistband and keep them there for 3-4 weeks.   Now do life.  Then keep your arms in slings for the next two months as you heal, and you’ll have a keen idea as to how creative one needs to be to complete routine, wonderful tasks—like tooth-brushing. 

 In the midst of this challenge, I, of course, experienced large gaps in my capacity to manage the “physical” aspects of life (opening doors, getting water, taking off glasses, getting out of bed with no arms, etc.), and yet experienced a profound gap closing:  I had a complete sense of inner strength and resolve to heal well and to manage the experience wonderfully.   And so I did, with the help of many fabulous others.

As one of my favorite coaches, Alan Seale, wrote in his most recent newsletter,…(loose paraphrase) that “during periods of transformation, we experience large gaps”.  This makes sense to me, for we need space to wiggle around in, and stretch our arms and legs, psyches and spirits while we are changing.  There needs to be room for the new as we transform the old, experimenting with and discovering what suits us well and what will benefit the world. 

New Strength 

A new strength I developed was to immediately believe what my body was telling me, and respond to it wisely.  For example, getting in and out of bed without the help of my arms, began to strain my lower back.  So, after four nights of this, I ordered a hospital bed that had an automatic raiser/lower bar with a remote control.   It was a godsend.  I needed my back and legs to be strong and remain non-injured since other important body parts were compromised.  Also, I ordered a chair-lift so I could get downstairs; my right ankle had been serverely sprained during the fall, so I was not safe to navigate stairs to our finished basement and my workroom (computer, etc.)  There are many more examples of quickly responding (closing gaps) to my needs, yet I think you probably got the point already. 

Embracing Big Gaps 

In the E.R., I asked the Almighty, “What does this mean?”  I got some pretty clear messages, yet felt the gap between wanting to know and finding out, widening.  “I’ll find out, eventually” I resolutely knew.  As certain spiritual gifts became evident to me—surrender, receiving, experiencing care like never before in my life, feeling my deep inner strength, asking for help from friends and even strangers, etc.—I knew that even more profound information would come, and it did.  The “gap” widened to make room for all the learning and experiencing, and then narrowed gradually as I came to appreciate what the whole accident was underscoring:  profound and wonderful change moving in my soul and in my exterior life.  The whole thing was about love, strength, and acceptance. 

What became absolutely clear to me is this:  when we become devoted to learning about and constructively using our strengths, they become part of us each day as we create joy and meaning.  Then, no matter what happens or what we co-create with the universe (God, Spirit, or your term for Higher Power),  we  are in an excellent position to have them “come brightly alive”—fairly automatically.   Our attitude is shaped by our strengths, and we impact everyone else around us—positively. 

Small Gaps

I have about 1/4 more bone to re-grow in each arm; this is a small gap, and I am gladly, patiently closing it—being instructed by my body about what I can and cannot yet lift, push or pull.  Each day I feel  so grateful for the things I’m now able to do, and look forward to the time I can actually get back down on the floor, relying on my arms to get me up and down.  Or to take a bath; arms are so involved in lifting us out of the tub, of course.  In the meantime, I’ve discovered why people enjoy showers so much.   A need, a want, and the fulfillment of it:  small gaps closed.  It’s important to take pleasure in these kinds of moments…living more fully in the present/gift of now.

Keeping an eye on Joy  

No matter whether or not we are working on aspects of our Self or a project, or healing or moving to a new home—all experiences where we are moving from her to there in some way— it is vital to develop the capacity to keep an eye on the potential for Joy.   If you have not developed this strength, I heartily encourage you to do so.  For example, even though it scared me at times to imagine flying and being in airports with healing broken/arms, I followed through with our plans to go to Canada.  It had great potential for Joy, and I didn’t want to miss out.  I wanted to get take some spectacular pictures of Banff and Lake Louise.  And so I did.  (If I can get an attachment to work here, I’ll attach a picture of Peyto Lake in the exquisite Canadian Rockies.)  I kept my eye on the potential for joy, and relied on my determination to use my strengths to get me through the fear of someone bumping into me.  It worked!  In fact, I think my husband and I had the absolute best time ever, in the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.

Here, you can see for yourself!  

You and Your Strengths

Do you know what they are…especially your top 5?  It will be a wonderful thing for you to either jot down the strengths you already know you have, or explore some kind of “strength finder” inventory that appeals to you.  My favorite one is the VIA Signature Strengths Inventory on Martin Seligman’s website…or the Univ. of Penn. site.  It is free to take, and spits back your top strengths to you as soon as you finish taking the 200 question inventory.  Be sure to only take it when you’re rested, as it takes a while.  I highly recommend that you become very aware of your strengths so that you can intentionally use them on a daily basis!  It makes for joy-filled living, which I heartily endorse. 

I welcome your feedback on all entries I make on this Blog.  I hope that my writing will bring something alive in you, and help you move to either close a gap you’re working on, or to tolerate the expansion of one while you are growing.

Blessings,

    Nicki 

A huge “Gap…”

Dear readers,

I have been away since early April due to a rather serious accident in which I broke both of my arms.  So, there was not only a gap in being able to care for myself totally…there was a huge gap in my being able to write.  I’m mending well, have yet to grow some more bone, and will be back in touch soon.  Great lessons were learned during the last three months.  More soon!

Take One Small Step

Another key to closing the gap is to take extremely small steps so you don’t scare the beegeebers out of your Self.  More accurately, if you can “sneak past” and not wake up your primitive brain—your amygdala—by changing in ways that don’t seem too threatening (to this flight/fight mechanism), this will serve you well.  Small steps are the way to tiptoe past your fear/primitive alarm center. 

The amygdala may trigger thinking in a part of your Self that is convinced about big change causing disaster; primitive thinking likes to keep things the same.  For some of us, change is perceived as an enemy to this prehistoric, fight/flight section of our “knogen.”  We need to creatively and judiciously create pathways to change that actually work.  In the little, wonderful book, One Small Step Can Change Your Life, the author explains this in clear detail.  (Go google it and see!) 

The essence of the message is this:  take tiny steps that won’t scare you and derail your progress.  Take small steps repeatedly, consistently, and you will have less of a chance of waking up your amygdala or your inner gremlins that shriek, “STOP…don’t change!”  You then may stay freer of negating gap-keepers, like “Who do you think you are, trying to do that big, wonderful thing?”  (Sound like anyone in your history?  Well, of course.  Or it’s some modification of messages that kept you from reaching too high, too far, too wide.)

You get to change, reach high, reach wide and far—as far as your precious heart wishes.  Just do it in ways that don’t set off inner alarm buttons that will then derail you or stop you in your tracks:  small steps are the key.  This is one way you can keep closing a gap between where you are and where you wish to go.